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• • 

    Auntie

    Front:

    Heavens, no! I'm just the Aunt.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    PRG003

    
    
  • 

    Balding

    front:

    I'm young. I'm a woman. I'm going bald. I want to die.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS024

    
    
  • 

    Ballet Friend

    Front:

    Ah, fifth position. Hello, old friend. We meet again.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    EXC002

    
    

• • 

    Bar/Bat Mitzvah Rock Star

    Front:

    Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah is like the Grammy Awards. You wear a fancy new outfit, sing a little song, and give a nice speech thanking G–d and your parents... Mazel Tov! You’re a Jewish rock star!

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    JEW004

    
    
  • 

    Be My Best Man?

    Front:

    Dude. Wedding. You In? I promise you won’t have to walk down the aisle with an ugly girl.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    WDG005

    
    
  • 

    Be My Valentine

    Front:

    Will you be my valentine? Literally no one else will.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    VAL002

    
    

• • 

    Boobies!

    Front:

    Too big. Too small. Nobody likes the size of their boobies.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS002

    
    
  • 

    Boys Are Stupid

    Front:

    Boys are stupid. Girls are crazy. Once you figure that out, everything else makes sense.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS033

    
    
  • 

    Break Up

    Front:

    Girl, go find yourself something better. He's not worth it.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    BRK001

    
    

• • 

    Bridesmaid: Shoes

    Front:

    Oh, I'll buy the bridesmaid dress but I'm wearing my own shoes.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    WDG001

    
    
  • 

    Cancer Stick

    Front:

    Put down the cancer stick, Smokey. You're no fun for me if you're dead.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SMK001

    
    
  • 

    Circus of Words

    Front:

    Our arguments are like a circus of words.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS036

    
    

• • 

    Closer to Death

    Front:

    Happy Birthday! Here's to another year closer to death!

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    BIR001

    
    
  • 

    Congrats on Your Wedding (check enclosure)

    Front:

    May your marriage exceed your expectations and your wedding gifts exceed the bar tab.

    Inside:

    Congratulations on your nuptials! * Please note, this card is monarch sized to fit a check. Check not included.

    Style#:

    WDG008

    
    
  • 

    Congrats: Jealous

    Front:

    I'll try not to say wicked jealous things behind your back.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    CON001

    
    

• • 

    Congrats: New Home

    Front:

    Congratulations on your new home! Wishing you lots of happiness + fun!

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    NHM001

    
    
  • 

    Congrats: Wrapped Up

    Front:

    Congratulations! I'd be happy for you if I wasn't so wrapped up in me right now.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    CON002

    
    
  • 

    Cosmic Joke

    Front:

    All the components of my life are falling into place just the way I always dreamed. Is this some kind of cosmic joke?

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS023

    
    

• • 

    Crazy

    Front:

    You're seriously crazy. Let's be friends.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS003

    
    
  • 

    Diet Patch

    Front:

    Scientists have finally developed a new patch for dieters.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    SAS018

    
    
  • 

    Divine Darling

    Front:

    My darling, you're divine. I love you now and always.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    GAY003

    
    

• • 

    Divorce

    Front:

    You get a gold star for trying to make your marriage work. No one tried harder.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    DIV001

    
    
  • 

    Dogs Cuter Than Kids

    Front:

    My dogs are cuter than your kids.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    PET001

    
    
  • 

    Don't Leave Me

    Front:

    I'm so glad I found you. Don't ever leave me.

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    LOV003

    
    

• • 

    Eyeliner

    Front:

    Does my eyeliner make my ass look fat?

    Inside:

    Blank

    Style#:

    BOY004